DS9 S1E10: Move Along Home

A first contact episode! Sisko is in dress uniform, getting ready for the first formal first contact thing. But what will the aliens be? Lizard people? Fish people? Cat people? Humanoids with some sort of plasticine facial addition and quirky jewellery?


They’ve come all this way to play games at Quark’s, and keep winning, until they stop winning and catch Quark cheating by fixing the table.


The Mullet people make Quark play a new game, where the pieces are Sisko, Kira, Bashir and Dax. Obviously. Missing a random redshirt for extra fun, but you can’t have anything. Bashir is found screaming, and asks if no-one else has ever had to wake themselves up screaming from a nightmare, which leads you to wonder if the poor man has regularly hellish lucid nightmares.


So Quark is controlling the game, while our senior four have to overcome various puzzles. It’s Star Trek: The Crystal Maze! Also, Bashir is fabulous in this episode. Look at him trying to hide in a bare corridor.

They can’t see me if I strike a pose

Julian gets a lock-in, the remaining three suffer some mild peril involving polystyrene rocks, and the only person keeping count  of crystals is Quark. Who knows how long they’ll get in the dome!

Oh, there’s no dome because it’s not actually the Crystal Maze. Quark loses – but everyone is returned to his bar and the day is  saved by.. Quark? The Mullet people? This episode really needs Richard O’Brien and some crystals. And the Crystal Maze theme  tune.

Incidentally, O’Brien and Keiko have been missing for the past few episodes, and it’s been mentioned in every episode that they are away “on earth”. Is this actually some sort of code, like when I was at school and people’s dads were away “on the rigs” i.e. in prison? Just interesting that it’s been prominently mentioned each time. HMMMMM.

As always, please leave a comment! I’d love to know what you thought of this episode. The same goes for all of these posts!

4 thoughts on “DS9 S1E10: Move Along Home

  1. This is one of the absolute worst episodes of DS9! That said, it’s tonnes of fun watching Kira having an absolutely miserable time of it. That skipping scene in particular. Oh god!

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